I haven’t been feeling so swell lately, starting probably around Tuesday last week.
This has mainly been because of the many complications and issues in my head – from College of Law work to job applications to taking on more responsibilities at work to future planning, I have a lot to think about.
I am naturally predisposed to negativity and perfectionism, so when things start to go south, I usually start crisis planning or talking negatively about myself. Over the last week, I noticed that my self-talk had been becoming more and more negative. Thoughts like ‘I don’t understand’ became ‘This is why I’d make a sh*t lawyer’ and ‘He’s quiet today’ becomes ‘He hates me’.
After working with my PT, I took out half of Sunday for ‘me time’ to head to a rural park and to just check in with myself for a while.
This gave me a lot of time to unwind and to detach from the world for a while, and remove myself from ‘attachables’ – the term I give to things like email, social media and messaging applications. This allows me to focus more upon the ‘here and now’.
When I’m feeling low, Coco usually helps me simply by existing. She is a non-judgmental friend, and whilst she can’t talk back, she always sees the best in everyone and loves me regardless. Getting to spend time with her to run freely in open space brings a huge smile to my face because I get to see her pure happiness.
The last few days have been pretty rough to get through, but I know it’ll slowly get better with time.